I’m failing and I know it

One of the worst things about depression, for anyone who has dealt with it for a long time, is the peaks and valleys.  It is like a roller coaster – some stretches you do great, some stretches you do poor, and some stretches you see yourself going down hill.

I’m on that downhill trend and I know it. I can see it, I can feel it. I just can’t figure out how to stop it.  I’ve noticed lately that I’ve been starting a slide – I do less around the house and spend more time in front of the tv or computer.  I just can’t muster the energy to accomplish things that need to get done.   I’m to awake to sleep, but to tired to have energy.  I stay up late because I can’t sleep – then drag and have no energy all day and just want to sleep.  It is a vicious cycle.

I got my spring cold last week with the bad sinus crap and generalized body sore and just tired. Most of the first three days, I spent trying to get as much sleep as possible.  I got up to make dinners and take my son to TKD, otherwise I spent the entire 3 days in bed.  When I couldn’t sleep,  I would try to get some of my job work done.   Its been a week now and I can’t seem to shake the tiredness.  I tried walking this weekend because it was soooo beautiful.  Took the pup out for one day and put in a smidgen over a mile.  Then Sunday took Mr and the pup and did about a mile and a half.

I’m still tired.   I think part of it is mental stress.  However the fact I can realize my funk means I can do something about it.   They say the first step to conquering is to see and admit the problem.  I am reminded of  a Daniel Tiger episode my son watched.. “keep trying you’ll get better”….