Just. Tired.

I find myself, out of sorts.  I’m not happy, but I’m not sad.  I’m not depressed, but I’m not enjoying life. I feel tired. Just. Tired.

DH was supposed to have his surgery last week.  We were at the hospital, all checked in. I had made it back to his room after waiting about an hour in the waiting room after they took him back.  About an hour later the Dr. comes through who was supposed to be doing his surgery – looks at his hip and decides — not doing the surgery today.  He has a pimple on his hip about the size of, a bead on a baby’s bracelet. He decided it was to close to the surgery site – so we were sent on our way.   The nurse took a look at it – and was dumbfounded that he called it off over that.   I wouldn’t have been so angry if  (1) he wasn’t in the office last week for his pre-op where they looked at his hip one last time – with that pimple there and said it was fine; (2) anytime in the last 3 months they could have looked at any part of his body to realize he had body acne and prescribed the antibiotic that they now are giving him to take 2 weeks prior his rescheduled surgery.  I really wanted to punch that guy in his face.

My mother in law broke both of her hands, well  her right hand and left arm. This has made her doing much of anything – not really happen.  DH spent the week prior to his surgery at their house all day taking care of the kids she was watching and helping out around the house.  After work, I would take the kid over a couple times and help out and would stop over before taking him to Tae Kwon Do to make sure she didn’t need help.

My house – is a wreck. I wish I cared.  I want to care, I look around and think holy shitballs this place is a death trap.  I don’t find the energy to care about it to the point of doing something.

So, plan b… avoid and ignore.

I have taken on a small – well it started out small anyway, project that I could do this summer mostly myself knowing that DH was going to be down for the count for most of it.  Make a few updates to the front porch.

House before
[/media-credit] House before

It started with – I just want to rip out the railing and put up a post.  Maybe I’ll paint the cement or something to clean it up.  Oh I should put new baseboard around it while I’m doing this as the old stuff is falling a apart and looks like crap.  Ya know, this side of the porch has no outlets – so I can’t plug anything in over here where we can now sit.  Now with all this my gutters look like trash because I have a faux fascia that was added as my house had yankee gutters.  The fascia they put up — well it was a crappy fix and not really fascia so, my gutters are twisting up. I need to get new clamps to fix the gutter alignment and life should be good.

All I have left on that list – is the gutters.

Porch Renovations
[/media-credit] Porch Renovations

Voila:  It is  stunning difference.  We used the behr concrete paint with the grit in it so that the porch isn’t slippery at all with the rain or the kid (well really me.. ) being barefoot all the time.

I think it is a TON improved from what it was.  I love the openness now that I can sit on the porch, and if someone walks by me to sit – I don’t have to stand up or move at all.

This was all done over the last few weekends and my husband helped a ton.  He painted the patio for me and through it all he has coached me through it but for the most part – I have done the work.  I have been learning lots of new things – playing with air nailers getting crafty etc.

The surprising benefit is,  I feel better about myself. I was not anticipating that at all. Feeling accomplished sure – but it has felt empowering to accomplish these things.

After in passing making mention of the lack of power on the left side (farthest from the door) and how maybe someday I’ll get around to putting a box over there, he comes home with some electrical stuff.  Today I learned about wiring.

Tada:

New Electric
[/media-credit] Ran new power boxes and a switch

 

I’ll get around to covering most of this in a coat of white at some point so its .. not as obtrusive…

 

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